[ Editorial ]
Excavating Rock Canyon
Pure genius

The prospect of Rock Canyon being transformed from scenic recreation spot to excavation
eyesore has Provo residents up in arms. Utah resident Richard Davis is awaiting
the approval of a permit which would give him the go ahead to spend 10 hours a day,
Monday to Friday for the next three to five years, hammering and back-hoeing the
mountain away. Davis’ public relations guru, John Park, did an excellent job assuring
the 100-plus angry citizens who gathered last Saturday morning to protest the project that the
quarry will be safe. A six to eight foot “safety berm” will be in place. For those worried about
falling rocks crushing houses, children and beloved family pets, rest assured, the “berm” will
save you all.
The main concern of Provo residents, however, wasn’t safety, but beauty. Residents are
worried that without the picturesque view of jagged rocks juxtaposed against the piercing
azure sky and the Provo Temple’s radiant angel Moroni, Provo postcard sales will slump. No
one wants a postcard of orange construction cones, dump trucks and pebbles. One resident
asked point-blank, “Why would the city even consider a proposal that would destroy the
most beautiful area of this town?” Park’s reply was both thoughtful and satisfying: “It’s the
consequence of a free country, I guess.”
One of the wonders of living in a free country is the fact that people are “free” to act in
their own self-interest. BYU geologist Lehi Hintze, who, according the The Daily Harold, has
studied Rock Canyon for decades, told the crowd that the cliff Davis seeks to remove is “not
a rare rock, nor particularly valuable. … It’s the kind of rock that is used as riprap — piles of
rock used for erosion control. Ask yourself, why would he want to propose a quarry? I think
he basically wants to be bought off.”
What the citizens gathered in protest on Saturday and the many at home who agree with
them have neglected to acknowledge is that the “riprap” rock in question could be put to
good use for the people of Provo. Davis’ motives aside, this could be a fabulous idea. Why
didn’t anyone think of it before?
We could use the rocks to expand the Y on the mountain, adding perhaps a “B” and a “U”
or maybe even the whole mission statement. We could build a fortress to segregate campus
into a boy half and a girl half, or to simply block Helaman Halls from the rest of us. We could
create a literal “Zion Curtain,” solving all confusion about where that pesky 2-mile radius
line really is. We could use the excavated rocks for an endless number of BYUSA activities, a
giant game of “King of the Rock Pile,” perhaps? We could supply every BYU fan with something
to hurl at our athletic opponents, or bestow each student with a personal prayer rock.
BYU could give out complimentary boulders to married students, engraved with their names
and wedding dates. We could enhance campus grounds with wishing wells, both enchanting
and profitable, and bulldoze the old president’s house and replace it with a “President’s
Castle.”
And these are just the possibilities for BYU. The benefits for other Provo residents are limitless
— a boosted economy, a prolonged sunrise, a view of Colorado. You name it. Excavating
Rock Canyon would add all kinds of enhancements to quality of life in Provo, and it would
rid us of some key vices. Rock climbers, almost as troublesome as “sinboarders,” would be
inhibited by the quarry. The annoyance of wildlife — the movement, the noises — obliterated.
If Mr. Park’s boss gets his wish, it would also be much more difficult for adolescents,
and even full-blown adults, to “park” at the mouth of the canyon and use their mouths in
inappropriate ways.
So, Mr. Park — and Mr. Davis — while most of Provo hates your idea, we love it. We’re
thrilled with the possibilities involved in giving nature a good kick, just for the heck of it.
What fun this could be! We’ll even help you hold off the protesters, just as long as we get
first dibs on the riprap. Our first project? Building a giant meteor in the middle of Brigham
Square for April Fool’s Day. So get to work.

Audience: Mr. Park and Mr. Davis, two residents of Provo who want to excavate Rock Canyon in order to sell the rock and make money.

WATCO excavating Rock Canyon on Provo?
Claim: excavating Rock Canyon will detract from Provo's beauty.
Reason: because excavating Rock Canyon will destroy the wilderness.

Goal: convince Mr. Park and Mr. Davis to not excavate Rock Canyon.

How:
Pathos: The author uses a lot of sarcasm to make the audience feel stupid for wanting to turn the canyon into a quarry. When taking into account the counterargument that the rock will be useful, the writer mocks them with the ridiculous things BYU could use the rip-rap for, like blocking off Helaman Halls. He also mocks them by saying it will be a good thing to get rid of the rock climbers that go there, and the pesky wildlife that lives there. He also uses lines like, "how fun this could be!" and it'll be great to give nature "a good kick, just for the heck of it." He also sarcastically says how the 'berm' is going to keep everyone safe from the falling rock-his sarcasm increases the fear of the damage it could possibly cause.
Logos: Although he uses sarcasm, he makes a logical argument that this type of rock is not special and could be excavated from an area not as close to residents and from somewhere that is not a landmark of our city. Rock Canyon is beautiful, and logically, by taking out the rock it will disturb this refuge.
Typical: All the arguments are typical and applicable. Non of them are unusual to the situation in anyway. All though his sarcasm is exaggerated, it is supposed to be that way, and its obviousness keeps it from being atypical.

Effectiveness: While the article would apeal to the university students that will be reading it most, the audience of Mr. Park and Mr. Davis will not appreciate all the sarcasm and it would ultimitaly make them more defensive and not convince them that they shouldn't continue with the excavation.